Within a month, I had written my first national TV spot for SunJet Airlines (which shortly thereafter filed for bankruptcy—no fault of mine, I might add). Over the next four years, my fellow right brainers and I brainstormed and concepted our way to win over one hundred awards for creative excellence. We basked in our quirkiness. We celebrated our zaniness. We turned “the pit” into anything but the pits.

But then one day, all of that changed.

You see while my right brain was busy being all creative and stuff, my left brain secretly somehow had been playing its own little game. During client pitches, my left brain was paying attention to the research and the numbers and the statistics—all those things that made my right brain want to turn in to Jell-O. My left brain somehow taught itself how to connect those numbers to reason. My right lobe discovered my left lobe’s betrayal and they’ve been at war ever since.

My former creative partners insist that I have gone to the dark side.

But how can they? How can they not see the beauty in what true research tells you? Whether it’s a focus group or a mall intercept or a trend article or a fully blown-out quantitative target segment analysis or segmentation study (OMG, I’m drooling!), research tells a marketer so much. Not just about who your target is, but also about their media consumption, their interests, behavioral patterns—even the messaging that they’re most likely to respond to.

The right side of the brain, aside from tuning out all things numeric or analytic, doesn’t like that. Research brings out its defensive side, and the two sides argue.

RB: Well that takes all the creativity away.

LB: How so?

RB: I wanted to use a talking baby.

LB: The research shows that most women in our target demo expect to start a family within the next two years. Why can’t you use a baby?

RB: Well… because… because… well, it’s just not as much fun if it makes sense!

LB: Besides I think a TV spot like that would be great based on our media schedule. Our research tells us that we should be placing spots on networks like WE, Oxygen, HGTV, Food Network, Lifetime. They’ll LOVE your talking baby.

RB: Well that media plan isn’t very creative.

LB: Whattya mean?

RB: Well you didn’t really create it, did you? That ‘research’ of yours did all the work for you.

LB: I did plenty of work! I mean all those data fields didn’t cross-tabulate on their own!

RB: Ooh! Big word man!

LB: Look, why don’t we float the idea past a focus group to see if you’re on the right track?

RB: NO!

LB: Why not?

RB: Remember that last focus group when that one lady said she didn’t like the creative?

LB: Yes.

RB: I didn’t like her.

LB: Yeah, well, we ran the campaign anyway because you wouldn’t stop whining and it was a flop.

RB: When did you become… such a… such a… boobie-head?

LB: Boobie-head? Is that the best you can do, word boy?

And so on.

So anyway, when you’re trying to figure out your next campaign, take some time and do some research. It can make everything from your creative to your media planning and public relations strategies much more successful and on-target. Doing it right isn’t free—but if you take the time to work with someone who understands how to structure a research project effectively, the return on investment can be staggering.

Even as a professional copywriter, I have found myself mincing words, wasting them, and the worst situation of all– at a loss for them. The thing is, words are like wardrobes–they need to be carefully selected, making sure to fit the mood, the occasion, and the audience. It is not a “one-word-fits-all-world” out there.

Take the word “no.” It’s a simple word, yet very powerful. It’s only two letters. Nothing fancy. Just two simple letters forming one simple word. But think about it. Think about all the times you’ve heard it, and all the times you’ve spoken it. How did it affect you? What impact did it make on the listener’s life when you spoke it? “No,” can make a child cry, start a war, send a jobseeker to the end of his rope. But “no” can also be positive. Like when a mother is waiting to find out if her child has a terminal disease, or when a wife is waiting to hear from a private eye whether or not her husband is cheating on her. Sometimes a word is more than a word. Sometimes it dictates a future. Other times it sets precedent. And at times, it just means “no, you may not have candy before breakfast.”

If only people would stop to think about the words they speak, and type, before putting them out there. After all, our words really are the only thing in our lives we have complete control over.

Unless, you’re a copywriter. In a time when everyone thinks they’re copywriters, frustration amongst us professionals, is at an all-time high. The truth is, true copywriters live and die by words, sentences, phrases, headlines, and taglines. It is in our blood and we tend to get offended when words, or we, are taken advantage of or not used correctly.

Copywriters are a rare, and seemingly dying breed. Yes, anyone can speak. Type a letter. Even form a somewhat coherent sentence. But that does not make them copywriters. Neither does watching a TV commercial and thinking to themselves “that was stupid. i could do a better job than that!” Which coincidentally, is what got me into this business. Sitting with my sister in our college apartment, ripping apart poor commercials and ads. Oh the joy.

My favorite quote, yes, I must put a quote on here, is from Rudyard Kipling. He said, “words are the most powerful drug used by mankind.” I think about this, and repeat it often. Why? Because it is true. If more people really thought about the power of a simple word–they may develop a new respect for language.